I'm Fine Most Days -- Thoughts from a College Freshman's Mom

I’m Fine Most Days — Thoughts from a College Freshman’s Mom

It’s been over three weeks since my oldest, #1Son, left for college. What has surprised me the most is when I feel sad…

I’m fine most days. Really, I am.

Then I start doing laundry. 

In the bottom of one of my laundry baskets are a t-shirt, socks and shorts of #1Son’s — his little pile of clean clothes. Normally, when he lived here full-time, this pile would have been huge. Whenever I do laundry, I lay all the boys folded clothes on my bed before I delivery the clothes to their rooms. #1Son’s little pile of clothes seems to make it back on my bed each time these past weeks. Instead of putting his clothes away in his room, I keep putting his small pile back in the bottom of the basket in our room. His room is on the bottom floor, I tell myself, too far to put away right now. 

I didn’t cry when we got to see him play in his first college game.
I cried when at home we ordered take-away from Chipotle for 4 people, not 5.
I didn’t cry when we put his dorm futon together.
I cried when I changed his sheets on his bed at home.
I didn’t cry when we left him at school.
I cried when I saw his little pile of clean clothes.
Letting go is hard. Missing him is harder. My head knows it will get easier, but my heart hasn’t gotten there yet.
One of these days I will put away his little pile, but not today.
 Thinking of all of you parents who have said good-bye to your college kids.